The Conspiracy/Alternative Living Hoax

Posted by Paddy on July 8, 2016 in Rants |

This may turn into a rant, but I hate conspiracy theorists and some alternative living pushers.  In the Internet/technology age things are seldom presented accurately.  Our news is bias and most alternative news sources well beyond reasonable bias.

There is a simple trick to some of these bullshit peddlers.  It goes like this.

They may open their story, or their book, or the “about” section of their website with the following or similar words.  “You have been indoctrinated to believe“.  Right there in that phrase they are pressing you to believe that you are wrong in your own thoughts or ideology.  No matter what you might think, you will not understand what they are about to tell you, you won’t comprehend it on account of your pre existing indoctrination.  So they need to break that wall down, to open your mind to their theory, whatever that might be, by making you out to be the idiot, not them.  They need to make you feel that you are insignificant, perhaps not clever enough to understand what they are going to tell you.  Once they achieve this, you want to prove them wrong.  You almost want to believe what they have to say, to prove to them (and yourself to an extent), that you are not an idiot.

It’s a new take on the classic Emperors New Clothes story.

cheeseNext they will try to convince you of the merits of their story/theory by not straying too far from the truth.  My favorite example of this is Swiss Cheese.  They may well start off by telling you that Swiss Cheese is cheaper to make on account of all the holes in it, (maybe it is maybe it isn’t, it’s not important to the story).  You of course can see some logic in this theory, it stands to reason.  Maybe your not so indoctrinated after all.

Next they may ask you to question why you pay more for Swiss Cheese when you’re actually getting less cheese per block.  You start to ponder this, your starting to wander down their carefully cultivated path.  You’re with them thus far, and why not, both points are reasonable enough.

Next will come facts and figures.  You will be told that according to some guy with lots of letters after his name, the mass of a Swiss Cheese block is way less than your average Cheddar yet the cost is way more.  Calculations will show that you pay as much for the air holes as you do for Cheddar cheese.  Blind studies will be done to prove that your average pleb can’t tell the difference between the two in taste when blind folded.

You may be starting to think this guy is onto something.  After all he has all the facts and figures that support his story/theory.  They sound good.  This guy is right on track, he has my/our best interests at heart!  He only wants whats right!

By this time, you are pretty much sold, he can tell you almost anything because you have followed his trail of bread crumbs to this point.

This is where it gets interesting.  He may tell you that Swiss Cheese is dangerous to eat on account of the rare mold spores that form within the air holes while the cheese is aging.  Another guy with lots of letters after his name will relate his experiences with these mold spores.  He will tell you that over ingestion of these spores will affect your cognitive function.  Maybe he will tell you that the spores will affect the part of your brain (insert big brainy words here), which controls hunger, making you always hungry, passive, fat and lazy.  Ripe pickings for…..

The Jewish conspiracy.

judaism-symbolThe Jooooooooooooos invented Swiss Cheese to make Westerners fat and lazy, after all Jews don’t traditionally eat cheese themselves.  So in a double whammy, they invent a cheese that they can sell you less of, at a higher price AND eventually take over the world!

And that people is how conspiracies work.  Look at every single conspiracy/alternative living theory being peddled today and you will see the same pattern outlined above.

A) You are an idiot if you can’t see it.  (“IT” is often referred to as “The Truth”).

B) The reasonable statement or “Set Up”.

C) Question the status quo.

D) Facts and Figures

E) Link the above together no matter how loosely to support the coming…

F) Theory.


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